As I’m sure you can all imagine, splinters are a hazard of the job here at Pioneer. You can don your most fashionable PPE for all the other flying objects and big bangs but splinters are the invincible villains of the workshop.
Mick, our wise (old) shipwright AKA Mick Allen The Great even after years of experience was signed off work with a splinter that swelled up like a sausage not so long ago. Although there were many rumorsflying round the town about alligator attacks and spider bites…to set the record straight it was indeed just a splinter. Yet another splinter incident was when Charlie got a biggun stuck under his fingernail, Charlie being Charlie though could not just pull it out like a normal person…he had to drill into his fingernail to relieve the swelling pressure, hoik it out and then parade it round the workshop while a few of us were quietly vomiting in the corner. Oh the joys of carpentry ey.
Luckily for us we now have Ben The Big Friendly Giant. His mum is a nurse and he is famous for being a little bit anal about cleanliness in the yard. He even showers twice a day! With all this in mind we put our heads together, used our initiative and set up Bens Splinter Removal Surgery. It probably wouldn’t pass any Health and Safety checks but hey the yard has saved a lot of money on plasters since (needless to say this blog is probably the first The Management have heard of it)! Now when the time comes we know where to go. He also offers a finger removal service for serious cases although Aidan is the only one to have this service to use so far.
I had an appointment with Dr Ben last week, all suited and booted with his mask, latex gloves and his biggest Sorby chisel (bearing some resemblance to a medieval torture set up) I walked up to him and put my hand on his custom made extra tall bench. Turning away, wincing, cursing and stamping my tiny steel toe caps on the floor Dr Ben got to work. “Abbey, I haven’t even started yet…have a can of man the **** up”. Either way it was a total overreaction, it didn’t hurt at all although it did give Charlie a reason to mock me for a few days. With his steady hand, finely sharpened chisels and a few antiseptic wipes he had it out in no time! With puss oozing from my humongous wound a bit of masking tape and tissue was applied and I continued building our famous rowing gigs. Dr Ben saves the day again!